Computer Problem and Customer Service

Make your day!

This has got to be one of the funniest I’ve heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired however; he is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for “Termination without cause.”

This is the actual dialogue of a former Word Perfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations) starts here:


Employee    :    “Rich Hall computer assistance, may I help you?”

Customer    :    “Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”

Employee    :    “What sort of trouble?”

Customer    :    “Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”

Employee    :    “Went away?”

Customer    :    “They disappeared.”

Employee    :    “Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?”

Customer    :    “Nothing.”

Employee    :    “Nothing?”

Customer    :    “It’s a blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”

Employee    :    “Are you still in Word Perfect, or did you get out?”

Customer    :    “How do I tell?”

Employee    :    “Can you see the ‘C:’ prompt on the screen?”

Customer    :    “What is a sea prompt?”

Employee    :    “Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?”

Customer    :    “There isn’t any cursor; I told you, it won’t accept anything I type.”

Employee    :    “Does your monitor have a power indicator?”

Customer    :    “What’s a monitor?”

Employee    :    “It’s the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have little light that tells you when it’s on?”

Customer    :    “I don’t know.”

Employee    :    “Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?”

Customer    :    “Yes, I think so.”

Employee    :    “Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it’s plugged into the wall.”

Customer    :    “Yes, it is.”

Employee    :    “When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?”

Customer    :    “No.”

Employee    :    “Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”

Customer    :    “Okay, here it is.”

Employee    :    “Follow it for me, and tell me if it’s plugged securely into the back of your computer.”

Customer    :    “I can’t reach.”

Employee    :    “Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?”

Customer    :    “No.”
Employee    :    “Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?”

Customer    :    “Oh, it’s not because I don’t have the right angle it’s because it’s dark.”

Employee    :    “Dark?”
Customer    :    “Yes – the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.”

Employee    :    “Well, turn on the office light then.”

Customer    :    “I can’t.”

Employee    :    “No? Why not?”

Customer    :    “Because there’s a power failure.”

Employee    :    “A power…….a power failure?…. Aha, Okay, we’ve got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?”

Customer    :    “Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.”

Employee    :    “Good.. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.”

Customer    :    “Really? Is it that bad?”

Employee    :    “Yes, I’m afraid it is.”

Customer    :    “Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?”

Employee    :    “Tell them, you’re too STUPID to own a computer.”