When the Tension Subside

It was a late Friday night when I arrived home being exhausted from the terrible traffic caused by undisciplined drivers in the metro highway. I was excited to meet my fiancé along with my surprise weekend getaway planned, however without my knowledge there was most disturbing news that I should know about him regarding on the status of his health.

He is working in a famous and reputable Bank; it is a practice and guidelines of the company to conduct annual physical examination to determine if the employees are still fit to work. By him undergoing this physical examination, X-Ray was not good and their Doctor advised him to see Radiologist to seek for a second opinion about the result. He did all of the things and according to the Radiologist based on the X-Ray result from the Company he might have Pulmonary Tuberculosis (can be treated within 6 months of taking medicine) but to be sure, they will perform and test again for diagnosis.

So basically, sadness outpouring all over his veins to the unofficial result instead of waiting the official one, he presumed that it is positive already.

When he told me about the matter, I got paranoid. I was not able to hug him or comfort him but instead act like very mad and asking why it happens. He don’t smoke, no vice – perfect, where this coming from? After all; I ask myself, where is my support? I actually should be the root of his inspiration, but on that time, I never was.

Imagine, immediately he separate all his things because it was advised by the Doctor it is very contagious, and since I was his partner, I should be check as well but I don’t submit myself for checking. I’m still in the process of accepting the fact but I shall allow my intuition to guide me along. I decline to inform him with my surprise weekend getaway due to the news; there is no spirit at all. It was just all of the sudden, we are not talking and doing things separately – it seems were doomed.

It was twelve hours – no sleep, no plan, no talking, and no questions – silence. I was thinking, when the result is positive (let us say), he is the breadwinner and supporting his family always, how could he continue doing that when is on leave? All it matters – no answers.

Early Sunday on our breakfast, we talked about the situation, planning and how we going life forward with this problem and also agreed to move our wedding date. So we get going, iron out differences and apologizing for our reactions. It’s kind of we accept the situation.  This was also the day that he will get the final result from the Radiologist technician and start his medication.

I was surprised that he didn’t call me and speak about the result but due to many things happen in between I almost forgot the pressure we are dealing. I always inculcate in my mind that life must goes on – move on forward. When he arrived, one thing I asked was how much is the medicine, he replied there is no medicine for this, so I asked, why, then replied with a smile because I don’t hat Pulmonary Tuberculosis, it was a mistake diagnosis. The X-Ray was clear and it was different compared to the first one.

 The tension subsides when I heard the good news it’s kind of “let’s call for a celebration”, we have been doomed for many hours but in the end there is no truth about it. We are so happy…smile…smile and laughter. Now, everything is well according to plan and I can’t wait to share my story here because this is how I express my feelings as well.

Conclusions are not always pleasant. If you follow reason far enough it always leads to conclusions that are contrary to reason. I don’t deny we sometimes draw the right conclusions, but don’t we just as often draw the wrong ones?

After all, Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.

Relationships: It Takes Two to Tango

How much do you love your partner? How much do you willing to sacrifice? It’s time to pay more attention to this area of your life.

Whether you’re in a relationship already or you’re admiring someone from afar, sorting out your feelings can be a real challenge. While there’s no clear, fool-proof way to decipher your feelings for someone, there are certain ways to make the distinction clearer for yourself.

Strengthening a current relationship or getting into a new one requires learning from past mistakes and applying those lessons to present or future relationships. Study your patterns and get a “do-over.” Build a foundation of appreciation and respect. Focus on all the considerate things your partner says and does.

Happy couples make a point of noticing even small opportunities to say “thank you” to their partner, rather than focusing on mistakes their partner has made. The driving force of the sexual imperative bridges the gap between the almost incompatible brain styles of the two sexes. Lust can be seen as one end of a broad continuum, which may or may not culminate in romantic love.

Love and lust are inextricably intertwined. If his partner’s only in lust, she’ll use this against him, but if they’re both falling in love, this sexuality is a bond.

With a better understanding and insight into the way you interact and communicate with your significant other, you can create a strong, successful relationship.

The reason for two willing people came out to commit an infidelity relationship because they worked together. After all, it takes two to tango.

The Secret Affair

There are instances that you can witness unwanted fascinating scenes that are not supposedly entitled to expose as they keep it with highly regard. To name a few; for instance, are forbidden relationships (secret affair), company anomaly and situations that are warned to be prohibited.

What will you do if you see with your naked eyes the secret affair of the people you know most? How can you escape when you experienced this instances where the people involve are dear to you? Will you tell them that you know their secret or just leave them alone?

It was not so easy for me to balance whether I reveal the secret that I saw or just don’t be attach to it. This is related to the wife of my boss. Our boss is the most intelligent person I ever knew and he treats us as part of his family too. We share ideas, personal problems and together come up with solutions – a great team.

Let’s just call the wife as Madam. She is in her 40’s sexy and beautiful whereas our boss is 15 years older than her. There are rumors that the Madam has a secret affair with a local guy but we don’t believe of course. As told, Madam is not in love with my boss, she just marry him because of the “wealth,” however our boss adore her to the fullest.

It was a sunny Tuesday; I went to a hotel to reserve a suit for our visitors from Singapore. It was unexpected that I saw them (Madam and the young beau) in the restaurant of the hotel caressing each other but they don’t recognize me because I am not wearing a uniform. My thought was perhaps it’s just a friend because obviously, you will never meet where you might be seen together in public when it is – a secret affair. However, when I take a second look they are kissing already, how was that?

Through the sudden occurrence, I felt that I commit a murder, the feeling that I have sleepless night thinking about what I saw and I don’t have peace of mind. I am shocked and inconceivable that the rumor is true. As many days passed, I can’t keep on facing my boss for a discussion because it reminds me of telling him but I know I should be responsible of my actions.

It’s not my business, I know! But sometimes my guilt prevails however; I don’t want to be blame for my action as well. Everything has an end, I am hoping it well very soon because I cannot look through the eyes of the honorable man cheated by a greedy wife.

Until now, I didn’t break the silence of their hidden secret. In time of revelation; they know the consequences of their act as well.

I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime. But, if you really want to have a secure affair with no chance of being caught then do not have an affair. This is the simplest solution, and in addition to avoiding a lot of inconvenience, you will retain everyone’s respect. But it’s easier said than done.

A responsible person makes mistakes, but when they do, they take responsibility and make it right. When you stop pointing the finger, you have control over yourself. Just because the other person is acting a fool, don’t be one yourself.

Higher Than Number One!

It is commonly said that “Nobody is Perfect,” so nobody can be perfect, but experience can teach you to live as perfect as possible. Why put off what you can do now, when it keeps you busy and focused? You will have more time to get back to whatever you were doing before, plus, you won’t get yelled at if you forget.

Sometimes, we are forced to do things we hate but we felt responsible to get it done for the sake of the people we love, not only that; it happens commonly in our job. We sometimes see or experience events that make us feel terrible and we perceive these events as being wrong. But pleasure in the job puts perfection in our work.

There are cases that you don’t need to be perfect for something just to make other person like you, don’t you know that they already like you (as is) because in their eyes you are perfect for everything? You cannot please everybody, (of course) and you do not need to do so, because your principle is the expression of perfection, and as imperfect beings like us cannot practice perfection.

Do you investigate your behavior and dig beneath your anger for its source, apologize to someone so that you can both feel better and resolve to do better next time? Everyone with insight enough to admit his limitations comes nearest to perfection.

Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. However, they who aim at it, and persevere, will come much nearer to it than those whose laziness and despondency make them give it up as unattainable.

I met a nice guy before and we had a semi-serious relationship. I was wondering why every time I accomplished something either in work or in everyday living he often told me, “I’m very happy for you, you’re higher than number one,” but then my reaction was just casual and not so curious about it, maybe because I was young and not so matured to think things for real. He even gave me a poster of my favorite, “Lord of the Rings” movie with his photo at the bottom and he wrote this again. Now, I realized how much he appreciates me but sadly he is not the Mr. Right for me, we have so many differences that I had long enough to give way until in the end I just give up.

I didn’t seek perfection for a relationship but I know before that he is not the guy I want to spend the rest of my life. The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection like you feel much for others and little for ourselves and to restrain our selfishness and exercise our benevolent affections. Nevertheless, he thought me to do the best as I can be.

No one becomes perfect but you can be higher than number one.

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Love Knows No Distance

When do you have the luxury time together with your love ones? Is your long distance affair headed toward the same sorry fate? Do you think long distance relationship works?

According to majority that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but many casualties of long distance relationship would beg to disagree and I can attest to that as well.

Missing someone get easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will. The best and most beautiful things that cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart. As the days go by, the memories remain.

In a relationship, you want to be the priority but you have to consider as well the responsibility of the person you loved to their family because doubts can build and cause a whole lot of problems and jealousy can often be a figment of your imagination.

I do believed that finding a destined match (the right one) isn’t easy, sometimes you are blinded with the charming heartthrobs that keeping your attention away but by then, you are building your own experience by becoming into a strong, wise, sweet and lovable individual.

Way back 2007, I met this guy; he is my friend and colleague, I am three years older than him. Who would thought that the guy I’m talking everyday will become part of my life and fill the empty space of my heart to find true happiness despite of my stressful workload?

We started as friends and something happened inside us. He wanted me so long not as friend but he is hesitant maybe he gets busted. I think it was a love that came without warning, I was so blown away and all the good things he says never leaves my mind even I have million things to worry about.

Our relationship started and I cannot explain why I loved him as well but all I know that I want to see him always and I am enjoying his company. We are inseparable to the point that, everybody recognized the changes between the swift.

However, we both aware that relationship between colleagues are prohibited in our company, which means we need to choose whether he stay and I resign or the other way around. Despite of the consequence, our relationship gets stronger and bloomed and we decided to resign.

He is very responsible and he is the bread winner of his family after the death of his father. I got worried after we resigned because he needs to find an alternative job immediately because there is a family waiting for his support.

Our plan was to move to another city where my friends (my former students) are working but since he signed job for six month contract, I have to move first then he will just follow after. I have to establish first in a new place and find a work as well so that just in case he needs my help I have some to spare.

Our relationship is very open. It was hard to be far away of the one you love but when you think the purpose of doing so; you will feel very grateful.

Even we are a perfect couple but we are not in a perfect situation. For anything worth having one must have to pay the price – always work patience, love and self-sacrifice. No great love ever came without great struggle. We never missed to call everyday and tell our different problems, we focus to our work and wait until the day we will meet again.

We kept holding on our promises, thus distance is not the hindrance at all and for the record, we are now engaged and waiting for our momentous wedding early next year.

It is normal that sometimes we are upset but when you hear the voice of the one you love sincerely asking for an apology and understanding, then your heart gradually melt and things fall in place again. I believed those are spices of a relationship, there might be worst but you will not be given a problem if you cannot handle to solve.

If we fail to give the best of our personal self and undivided time to those who really important to us; then one day we will regret it.

Communication is very important in a long distance relationship. Distance doesn’t matter if you really love the person, what matters most is the honesty and trust for that relationship to work out. 

Suddenly we’re like a Strangers

There’s a danger in starting a fire; you’ll never know how many bridges you’ll burn however sometimes it isn’t a bad thing and it may prevent us from going back to a place we should never have been to begin with.

“Friends come and go, but real friends stay; chances are if someone’s in the past, they deserve to stay there.” We cry over friends we will never have back, people we once loved and bridges that have been burnt. But there’s a reason, the past is in the past. We only have so much room in our life save it for people who deserve it.

I really choose my friends to whom I am comfortable with, vesting my trust, reliable and never hit behind my back, always have positive outlook in life, easy going and most of all “can go with the flow.” I mean each of us really look for a person that together we a click to keep smiling with their company.

Any relationship trust is very important and so as friendship.

When I was a teacher I got two favorite students Nadem and Nylanor; it doesn’t mean that I gave all the favors in the class, they strive the same as others doing, I am strict and candid of reminding them that even we are friends, friendship doesn’t prevail just in case you failed and it was not a hurdle to them passed my exams. I was too young that time (20 years old) and Nadem (19) and Nylanor (18).

Two years after they graduated, I decided to find a new job because I’m not happy being a teacher longer, not because my friends were not there but because I am looking for a new opportunity considering that teaching is not my profession, I finished Information Technology which makes me able to teach basic computer subjects in a College school where Nadem and Nylanor studying.

I moved in the same city where Nadem and Nylanor working to keep us three seeing more often. There are many appreciates the status of our friendship as we treat each other like sisters even though I am their teacher before but it was not a hurdle nor even a gap because we set aside everything between us. We are open discussion issues between our family, boyfriend and work.

Always; I believed that the only thing that doesn’t change is the word “Change”.

I thought for many years that we’ve been together we really know each other. It was happen that when the boyfriend of Nylanor traveling abroad for work (2 years) which keep her very irritated oftentimes. It was like a mishap of our friendship; I cannot talk Nylanor in a nice conversation because she always gets offensive and I have to stop and lie low to keep my temper balance. I totally understand Nylanor, the feeling that you missed someone.

It was three months already but she is still very cold to speak with me even Nadem. We really don’t know her problem. I asked her boyfriend of what was happening to her but he replied like no issues discussed between them, she kept talking to her other friends from work but I cannot understand when we visit her there is no excitement.

When Nadem got serious sickness that I need to divide my time from work to hospital. I informed Nylanor about it but even her shadow, it was not present besides she went together with her workmates to camp somewhere in the mountain. Does she still care for us? Even to drop by and just say hello even she don’t care anymore she didn’t do that.

I have nothing against her but the attitude she showed to me is enough for me to let her go and stop worrying about her. I was shocked and can’t believe of what she did. The three of us has the same blood type, and Nadem needs 3 bags of blood for transfusion, since she didn’t volunteer as donor I persuade my colleague to donate their blood for my friend. It was a very tough time for me and also with Nadem but Nylanor doesn’t care at all.

For whatever reason, it was not my fault already as she did not open-up and discuss about it. From there, I promised to myself that I will stop seeing her and I admit it was so painful for me to let go of her seeing her very happy with her other friends and thinking that she dumped us.

Things happen when they must.

As Nadem recovered, she went home with her parents and I transferred to another city as well just to move on. To make the story short, we welcome in our heart the acceptance of letting Nylanor go.

My friendship with Nadem continues without any hurdle. When she gets married, even she was miles away from me; I make myself available to be able to attend the very important moment of her life. All happy moments starting from there to having a baby and birthday we are together. After all the bad experienced we had with Nylanor, we recognized that we totally moved on and all our good moments with her is just now “memories”.

However, one day; I met a colleague of Nylanor in a shopping mall, we have a small talk in a coffee shop then suddenly she open-up updates about her. I was kind feeling awkward during that time as I don’t want to hear anything from her but when she started that she broke up with her boyfriend, it breaks my heart a little because I know how she loves the guy. Despite of all her challenge; she fought it over her family. And now, she is pregnant by another guy and we don’t know if it was just a rebound or she was so desperate knowing that her boyfriend dumped her.

After all listening the story of Nylanor; I extend my sincere regards to her but there is no feeling of worrying so much maybe because I am not so concern unlike before.

When Nadem celebrates her birthday in her sister’s place which happens to be few blocks away from my place, Nylanor was there, it was an awkward moment; all these guys are my friends and I don’t want to ruin the birthday party either. So when Nylanor was a little bit drunk, she apologized for what she did before and I told her,  when you think that rejecting us is where your happiness then go on with your life… (awkward silence).

She should be responsible of her action that is what I want her to realize. But even I tried to convince myself, I cannot force to get along with her again. I know Nadem just respect her but being close friends as before perhaps it needs more years to recover.

She reject us, she leaves, then return, for what? Is it because she has lots of problem? We have ego as well, and I felt she is not so sincere of asking an apology. I prefer not to communicate her because I still have a high temper reading her notes.

I tried to let the unpleasantness between us become a thing of the PAST however, I choose to let the time heals and will see if there is still space left for our friendship or can just be considered as – was friend before.

Sometimes the friend you ever loved will hurt you the most and the worst pain brings the best of change – from a very good friends and now suddenly like a strangers.