There’s a danger in starting a fire; you’ll never know how many bridges you’ll burn however sometimes it isn’t a bad thing and it may prevent us from going back to a place we should never have been to begin with.
“Friends come and go, but real friends stay; chances are if someone’s in the past, they deserve to stay there.” We cry over friends we will never have back, people we once loved and bridges that have been burnt. But there’s a reason, the past is in the past. We only have so much room in our life save it for people who deserve it.
I really choose my friends to whom I am comfortable with, vesting my trust, reliable and never hit behind my back, always have positive outlook in life, easy going and most of all “can go with the flow.” I mean each of us really look for a person that together we a click to keep smiling with their company.
Any relationship trust is very important and so as friendship.
When I was a teacher I got two favorite students Nadem and Nylanor; it doesn’t mean that I gave all the favors in the class, they strive the same as others doing, I am strict and candid of reminding them that even we are friends, friendship doesn’t prevail just in case you failed and it was not a hurdle to them passed my exams. I was too young that time (20 years old) and Nadem (19) and Nylanor (18).
Two years after they graduated, I decided to find a new job because I’m not happy being a teacher longer, not because my friends were not there but because I am looking for a new opportunity considering that teaching is not my profession, I finished Information Technology which makes me able to teach basic computer subjects in a College school where Nadem and Nylanor studying.
I moved in the same city where Nadem and Nylanor working to keep us three seeing more often. There are many appreciates the status of our friendship as we treat each other like sisters even though I am their teacher before but it was not a hurdle nor even a gap because we set aside everything between us. We are open discussion issues between our family, boyfriend and work.
Always; I believed that the only thing that doesn’t change is the word “Change”.
I thought for many years that we’ve been together we really know each other. It was happen that when the boyfriend of Nylanor traveling abroad for work (2 years) which keep her very irritated oftentimes. It was like a mishap of our friendship; I cannot talk Nylanor in a nice conversation because she always gets offensive and I have to stop and lie low to keep my temper balance. I totally understand Nylanor, the feeling that you missed someone.
It was three months already but she is still very cold to speak with me even Nadem. We really don’t know her problem. I asked her boyfriend of what was happening to her but he replied like no issues discussed between them, she kept talking to her other friends from work but I cannot understand when we visit her there is no excitement.
When Nadem got serious sickness that I need to divide my time from work to hospital. I informed Nylanor about it but even her shadow, it was not present besides she went together with her workmates to camp somewhere in the mountain. Does she still care for us? Even to drop by and just say hello even she don’t care anymore she didn’t do that.
I have nothing against her but the attitude she showed to me is enough for me to let her go and stop worrying about her. I was shocked and can’t believe of what she did. The three of us has the same blood type, and Nadem needs 3 bags of blood for transfusion, since she didn’t volunteer as donor I persuade my colleague to donate their blood for my friend. It was a very tough time for me and also with Nadem but Nylanor doesn’t care at all.
For whatever reason, it was not my fault already as she did not open-up and discuss about it. From there, I promised to myself that I will stop seeing her and I admit it was so painful for me to let go of her seeing her very happy with her other friends and thinking that she dumped us.
Things happen when they must.
As Nadem recovered, she went home with her parents and I transferred to another city as well just to move on. To make the story short, we welcome in our heart the acceptance of letting Nylanor go.
My friendship with Nadem continues without any hurdle. When she gets married, even she was miles away from me; I make myself available to be able to attend the very important moment of her life. All happy moments starting from there to having a baby and birthday we are together. After all the bad experienced we had with Nylanor, we recognized that we totally moved on and all our good moments with her is just now “memories”.
However, one day; I met a colleague of Nylanor in a shopping mall, we have a small talk in a coffee shop then suddenly she open-up updates about her. I was kind feeling awkward during that time as I don’t want to hear anything from her but when she started that she broke up with her boyfriend, it breaks my heart a little because I know how she loves the guy. Despite of all her challenge; she fought it over her family. And now, she is pregnant by another guy and we don’t know if it was just a rebound or she was so desperate knowing that her boyfriend dumped her.
After all listening the story of Nylanor; I extend my sincere regards to her but there is no feeling of worrying so much maybe because I am not so concern unlike before.
When Nadem celebrates her birthday in her sister’s place which happens to be few blocks away from my place, Nylanor was there, it was an awkward moment; all these guys are my friends and I don’t want to ruin the birthday party either. So when Nylanor was a little bit drunk, she apologized for what she did before and I told her, when you think that rejecting us is where your happiness then go on with your life… (awkward silence).
She should be responsible of her action that is what I want her to realize. But even I tried to convince myself, I cannot force to get along with her again. I know Nadem just respect her but being close friends as before perhaps it needs more years to recover.
She reject us, she leaves, then return, for what? Is it because she has lots of problem? We have ego as well, and I felt she is not so sincere of asking an apology. I prefer not to communicate her because I still have a high temper reading her notes.
I tried to let the unpleasantness between us become a thing of the PAST however, I choose to let the time heals and will see if there is still space left for our friendship or can just be considered as – was friend before.
Sometimes the friend you ever loved will hurt you the most and the worst pain brings the best of change – from a very good friends and now suddenly like a strangers.